Voice recognition
Bought a new Orange Pay-as-you-go SIM.
Stuck it in the phone.
Tried to add credit.
ME > 450 (send)
"Welcome to Orange. Press 1 if you'd like to top up."
ME > 1
"If you'd like to top up with a credit or debit card, press 1, ..."
ME > 1
"If you're topping up with a voucher, press 1 now to return to the start. Otherwise, hold on."
...
"Ok, let's top you up. What's your postcode. Just say the post code."
ME > "E17 7QW"
"Ok. And the house number?"
ME > "47"
"Ok. I've got 47 Penumbra Avenue, London, E17 7QW. Is that right?"
ME > "Yes."
"Ok. Now, what is your last name? Just say it out loud into the phone."
(stunned)
ME > "Kufluk"
"CUTNER. Is that right?"
ME > "Well, no, it's not likely to be right is it - you're just a computer"
"Ok, let's try again. What's your last name?"
ME > "KUFLUK"
"CLARK. Is that right?"
ME > "NO!"
"Ok, well, I can't figure this out, so I'm going to have to pass you to customer services."
...
"Sorry, I can't ocnnect you to customer services because you don't have any credit. Calls cost 25p per minute."
"Would you like to top up now?"
"If you'd like to top up with a credit or debit card, press 1, ..."
ME > ARGGGG!
I hang up.
When I called back later, I admitted to being Mr Elliot Clark. I confirmed that this was indeed the name on my credit card. I successfully added 20 pounds to my account.
To avoid confusion in future, I will be responding solely to this moniker. I would like to thank Orange for simplifying my affairs in this regard.
Thanks for reading! I guess you could now share this post on TikTok or something. That'd be cool.
Or if you had any comments, you could find me on Threads.
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