Kenneth's Picnic

I made it! I’m back at last!
Home to curries, stella and drizzle.

Ok, so there’s a few days left to your trip around the world. You’re looking for an easy life, maybe a last top-up to the tan marks. How about a relaxing boat trip?

If only. Here is our tour guide on the phone. Inside, where we’ve just been having lunch, you may see some smoke.
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/kenneth.kufluk/VietnamBurningBoat
Yes, the boat’s on fire.

We’d just finished lunch – me and an Australian couple and four Americans. When we notice smoke in the window. A common occurence here: emissions tests aren’t the norm. However, then the smoke came through the floorboards.
As the crew panic like headless chickens, we cower at the front of the boat, (fortunately with all our bags as we hadn’t got our rooms yet), awaiting rescue.

The rescue boats arrive. The boat burns to the water. The crew all jump in. No-one knows where the dog went. We drive off and continue the tour on a different boat, pretty much as if nothing had happened.

I think for my final day here I might just stay here, safely hidden under the bed…

See also:
VN Express
Tin Tuc Vietnam

I like Hanoi.
No-one hassles you, and the whole town has more of a easy-going vibe than Saigon. And there’s no KFC here.
There *are* a lot of motorbikes. On very small roads. Who try to kill you.
But they don’t seem to bug you as much here. I only got five offers this morning, and they all gav up on the first ‘no’!

Walking down the street anywhere in Vietnam, people are falling over themselves to help you. But not in any kind of charitable way – they just want your money.

The streets are full of motorbikes. Full. And they all want to offer you a lift. In an average day I must reject between 150-200 people. But they don’t stop there – they start offering you all sorts of other things. It gets tiring.

The other day a guy came running across to me. Hello! he shouts.
Well, I’m all out of patience.
NO! I shout.
No motorbike!
No cyclo!
No marijuana!
No opium!
No hotel!
No restaurant!
! No massage!
No girls!
No “boom-boom” with said girls or for that matter, you!
Whatever it is: you can’t help me.
Leave me in peace.

He looked a little surprised at my outburst, and silently handed over the book I’d left behind.

Or Ho Chi Minh. I don’t know or understand. But Saigon is easier to spell.
Hnaging around waiting for my cold to clear. It’s hot but not too bad, and humid/rainy esp int eh afternoon/evening. It’s hard to believe so much water can hang around in the sky.