I plan to publish a book for children.

It shall have a dust jacket, so that the books look crinkled and worn after a single use.

It shall have numerous title pages. It’s not enough to say the title on the cover alone. I would rather the title were repeated on the first page and second page too.

It shall have razor sharp corners, suitable for carving your name into diamonds, or for gouging eyes.

It shall have pages which are cut straight, such that grownups and children alike cannot turn a single page at a time.

It shall have popup controls that will be broken before it leaves the factory.

It shall have text that varies in both rhythm and rhyme. The plot will be absent of reason.

It shall be a classic.